I was always under the impression that Saturdays were supposed to be fun.
Right?
Except maybe for Sylvia since she has to spend this whole Saturday with a certain someone.
I really don't feel like doing these work that GGM sent over.
Usually I could have ignored them, or at least ignore the deadlines, and do them slowly in pace.
But this time its different.
On other occasions, she sent these work here with the idea of, "Let's let Rhen have a go and get some experience."
But this time that's not the reason behind it.
And it's because I know the real reason, therefore I can't ignore these work.
*Sigh.
At least I got six hours of sleep last night, that's a good bonus..
I feel asleep at the backstage while waiting for me turn to perform.
Haha, I was wearing my AV jacket since it was cold and the jacket my dad brought along was strictly for show. It doesn't provide any warmth at all.
So I buried my face in my arms, resting on the black desk/cabinet behind the curtain.
I only wanted to rest but I fell asleep.
I didn't hear anyone call me.
And the backstage manager thought that the random person with a backstage pass was me so he also didnt call out loudly.
Then it was Daniel's turn
and I was missing.
Gave him the fright of his life.
They found me just before the emcee made the call,
and I was dragged half-asleep on to stage.
I only became awake when the applause started and I was like,
"Hell, why am I onstage? And where is the freaking jacket my dad brought?"
Luckily, they took off my AV jacket for me.
If not, I'll be performing with the words 'CREW' stiuck on my back.
But I heard our performance went rather well.
I was darn proud of myself, haha, since I've been so busy lately.
I still have to wrap up the chinese SIA by hopefully tomorrow.
I don't even know who is in my group anymore.
Haiz.
It's okay, I guess, I'll just do what I can.
Hey, hey, this is another cute pic of my dear darling doggie!!
My hammies are currently sleeping, by the way.
My darling doggie's photo, cute isn't he??
I go all fuzzy when I cuddle him!!
Except when he licks me consistently :/
Last year Choral and Drama Nite Pictures: I found them, haha
Rhenny is suddenly doing some photo sharing!!
haha,
He said I could take a break!!
Ohlala,
Now at least I dont have to chiong the novel so badly!!
Leisure writing!!
Whoots.
Haha
Arent these pictures full of memories?
Rhen is being emotional.
Sorry.
But these pics do bring back memories!
Even if you werent from 210 or 110,
it'll still remind you of your class' choral and drama nite!!
Isnt it lovely?
Oh~
haha,
I suddenly remembered Squiddo in her tube, singing songs...
nice and smart squiddo with her pretty voice.
Nya~~
Haiz, I still have lots of work left to do...
sad.
Gotta go.
I suddenly have an idea on who 'hi' is.
Maybe I need to do some more cleaning up...hm...
But how can you clean up so many...grains?
Joking!
Am I?
That's for me to know and you to find.
PS: I'm rather serious now, not being lame and not joking.
Hohoho, Rhenny can be dark sometimes...
GGM seems to be taking my denial to return home very harshly.
She's giving me all sorts of work to do now, almost four times the amount I have to do in the past.
Everyday when I enter my room,
I see all these files...and emails...and articles...and books...and calls...
Dying.
I'm seriously considering whether or not I should just delete that email of mine.
The one that she uses.
The Yahoo one.
But that would be useless, of course. She'll just find some other way to give me work.
The only good thing I'll get from deleting that mail is that I'll feel better deep down inside me.
GGM's only giving me so much work to force me back,
I know that.
But I'm thinking...
should I go back?This is my duty, I guess, being who I am, to help my family.
GGM's sadistic trick is immature, of course, but her 'invitation' for me to return is only there because she thinks that's the best.
For her, anyway.
Argh!
Can't anyone cut me some slack here?
Oh yeah,
I'm not on talking terms with everyone at the B.T
All these seminar sessions are a torture...
Oh man.
I haven't been sleeping so much the past four days.
An
average of three and a half a day.
Believe it, people, I'm not exaggerating.
I really, really just want to be a normal fifteen year old and worry about homework.
Not the kind of stuff I'm worrying about now.
I mean, yeah, sure, I DO worry about homework.
But there are so many unusual things that I worry about that people don't even believe in!
They may say they believe me, they may act like they believe me.
But I can see it in their eyes that they don't.
They think I'm trying to get attention?
Maybe.
That's why I've finally understood.
You really have to handle your things yourself.
I told many people in the past about me but most don't believe unless they see it themselves.
But I can't go around showing to everyone, can I?
So from now on, I'm not going to say it anymore.
I'll keep my stuff to myself.
Rather than get misunderstood I'll rather handle them alone.
After all, this mask that I've been wearing for so long is already almost a part of me.
I can't even tell whether my smiles are genuine.
I, myself, me...I can't even tell whether I'm happy for real or am I acting only.
Ah this is pathetic.
The best way to blend in is to do the things that other people do.
I understand that fact.
So even if it means wearing a mask, I'll do it.
I am a coward, I guess.
*sigh.
All the things I've done in the past, I wonder if my karma will get back to me someday...?
People, don't misunderstand please, I'm not doing anything shady.
Not TOO shady anyway.
Got Qiao's shirt today,
seven bucks
and I had a hell of a time collecting it.
Oh well,
I finished my homework,
my AMES,
IH,
Bio essay question,
chem WS,
half completed chinese SIA report.
And I still have a mountain of documents to read through.
Maybe.
Maybe,
maybe,
I'll being them with me to school to finish.
No one will understand them anyway.
Maybe they won't even care.
Joking!
My class is a nice class!!
Cassandra came over today,
she's my one year younger cousin.
Strangely, I feel myself when I'm with her.
Because she's always so hard to read, so hard to anticipate her next move.
I'm very good at reading people, you know.
But I'm no EDWARD.
Nah,
it's just that I have good empathy,
but whether or not I show that or I act ignorant is another story altogether.
Being with Cassy is interesting,
because you never know what's going to happen in the next moment.
A but like how Kei feels towards Hikari in Special A
Except we aren't in love, haha.
Who knows?
Maybe she'll be another Rui.
